Momartfully

Resolution: good bye celebrity moms!

I've neglected the blog for a couple weeks in favour of spending time with my family and friends. We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years and now we're all back at work, back to school and back to early bedtimes and the same old routine - well, the same old routine plus more snow, this is Canada.

I decided to make some resolutions again this year. Last year's resolution was simple: learn to knit. I never had a grandmotherly figure who taught me to knit, so I decided to pay for the privilege and buy myself a knitting book or two. Or twenty. The Klutz Press Book/Kit "Learn to Knit Six Great Projects" was my ticket to knitting, and it is aptly named and did a marvelous job of teaching me the art of two sticks and string. I did it, I taught myself how to knit.

In fact, I kind of went overboard. I love knitting though, and I feel inspired and creative and relaxed and productive. So, this year I'm determined to:

Learn to Crochet

• I'm starting with the Klutz Press "Learn to Crochet Six Great Projects" Book/Kit
• and the Complete Idiot's Guide to Crochet Projects (Illustrated)

I've also made a few additional resolutions this year. I'm a little worried that additional resolutions will increase my chance of not accomplishing anything - add to that the fun of already running at 150% (like most working moms) and we'll see what happens.

Sometimes having a full schedule means you get more done.

And sometimes it means you have a screw loose for looking for more to do.

I'm also hoping to:

Blog about books I'm reading

I resolve to blog about all the books I'm reading, especially great books like The Artist's Way a wonderful, life-changing book. I also resolve to...

Buy a house (!!)

We are going to buy a house - and this is a stunningly wonderful and new concept for me.

This will be the first house I've ever owned. Going from being a homeless single mom to a suburban home owner (God willing) in five years (a remarkable five years) has been an incredible experience that I'll have to write more about - soon. 

No More Celebrities

The last resolution is one that's been a year in the making. I've resolved to change the type and quality of blogs I read from now on. In short: no more celebrity mommy blogs.

I've had enough.

Nobody I know lives like the blogging celebrities, nobody I know even thinks like them. I realized about a month ago - if I wouldn't waste my time with those people in person, if I wouldn't invite them into my home - why was I wasting my time with them online?

• So I resolved - from now on I will stop reading the celebrity mommy blogs.  I resolve to build a lovely list of wonderful bloggers I enjoy - who may or may not be moms or dads - who are interesting, respect-worthy and easy to relate to.
  
  I will read bloggers who respond to their readers, who have budgets, money worries, kids that are sick, houses that aren't perfect, bloggers who work for a living and are proud of it, bloggers that are rich in family and joy - not money. I will read bloggers who talk about real, knotty, complicated issues like politics and adoption and custody and religion and special needs and social issues...
  I don't want to read about TV appearances. I like my own recipes and my own clothes - not theirs. I don't care what their workout is or if they have a bottom the size of a child's. Vanity is boring.
  
  I want to read about conscious, deliberate, smart, funny, genuine, touching and talented people who live lives that I recognize and share or who can help me learn, who can teach through wisdom, experience and knowledge.
  
  I might not change the world with this resolution - but it will make a huge improvement in my life - and maybe it'll change someone else's life, too. I resolve to stop wasting my time being one of the many ignored and meaningless celebrity blogger "fans" and spend my time with someone who could very well become a real friend, a new friend, someone I respect, enjoy and relate to.
  
  And that's the best resolution of all.

Away in a Manger

This year's Nativity Play was a hilarious, filled with adorable miniature shepherds and angels in their bathrobes.

My littlest was thrilled to be playing Mary. The best part of the play was when "Mary" gently lifted up the wee baby Jesus doll from behind the manger... then grabbed him by the legs and THWACKED the doll into the hay-filled manger.

*thunk*

The audience giggled.

Then "Mary" took the "donkey" hobby-horse she rode in to Bethlehem on and laid it on top of baby Jesus - just for good measure.

The audience roared.

Happy birthday baby Jesus!

The Price

On the weekend we had a visitation scheduled with the kids' biological dad. We arranged to meet at a local restaurant where the kids sat with him and M and I sat at a table on the other side.

As the visit was ending their biological dad asked the kids to tell M and I about a visitor they had. Evidently the kids were behaving so well that a man at a neighboring table decided to reward their nice manners. He came over, commented on the kids being "so polite" and handed their biological father $20.

Sounds great, right? Well behaved kids at Christmas? Score!

The ex continued with the story and made an absolute point of telling M and I that HE was paid money for the behaviour of the kids - HE was recognized and paid off. For. The. Kids. All HIM.

He quite happily said that when he spoke to their visitor he took credit for the behaviour of the kids. Then he pocketed the $20.

He didn't even consider letting the kids have the money. Which isn't that big a deal except... why wouldn't you offer to let the kids have it or spend it near Christmas? Ask if they wanted to buy presents - or if they had something they wanted?

Wouldn't that be what the visitor intended?

The kids had it all figured out before we even got to the car. My oldest was disgusted and disappointed, the youngest was confused. The kids know that they live with Mommy and M. Their Dad is M - he's with them every day of their lives. They hardly ever see their biological father - and I think they expected him to act accordingly.

I didn't really comment on the whole episode - it's up to the kids to decide how they feel about their biological father. I don't need to say a thing.

It mostly made me sad.

He may have gained 20 whole dollars from a stranger - but he lost something much more precious that day.

A Fish That Has Ceased To Be

Yesterday one of our family pets passed away.

"Admiral Bubbles" - who I'm told was a girl fish (a girl and an Admiral! Marlo Thomas would be SO proud of my mad feminist mothering skillz with my equal opportunity kiddos). Evidently playing Free to Be You and Me in the minivan over and over again has made a difference.

So anyway - the Admiral has passed on after a long and much - er - decorated career as a fish. Literally decorated - that fish tank was very pretty, stickers, coloured pebbles, shells, a shark decoration that declared "bite me" and even a cloth fish painstakingly cut out of a remnant of material and taped to the lid "so she could see another fish and wouldn't be lonely".

Interestingly, we didn't have a fishy funeral. I always thought that a fish funeral or two would be an expected part of this parenting gig. I could picture the whole family clustered awkwardly around the toilet bowl while a tearful child delivers a eulogy to a beloved former pet (adorable video) and then a burial at sea. It seemed like a universal rite of passage.

In reality the burial at sea was performed by M while the kids were at school. M offered a funeral service to my bereaved son, but the response was that he "didn't want to be there for that."

Wii, Wii, oui... all the way home

My parents were in town visiting last week for a couple days to run some errands in the city and then head back into the wilderness before the next big snowfall. I came home late last Monday after a very busy day and a very frosty walk from the bus. I knew my kids were snug at home, hanging out with Gramma after school and maybe indulging in a wholesome craft activity or baking cookies.

Riiight.

I opened the front door and was immediately run down by two very, very excited kids.

"Look Mom, LOOK! Look what Gramma got us! MommommommomMOMmomMOMMOMMOM... SO cool. So COOL. Mom LOOK!"

I peeled off my coat and scarf. "What? What is it?"

(thinking please dear God don't let it be a puppy!)

"See? Isn't it COOL?" My son held up a white remote control and pointed it at the TV.

Wait. A white remote?

Oh. My. God. My mom got the family a Wii for Christmas.

On a school night.

-----

A couple hours later it was declared that my mom got ME the Wii for Christmas - because the kids wouldn't stop fighting about who the Wii belonged to and who got to go first or got the remote first and who got to play longer or better or which game they played... or...

Sigh. Does the Wii serve Martiniis?

Blindsided

I don't just have one extra-special suckeye, I have two suckeyes (suckii?)

The verdict is that I have Glaucoma:

"Glaucoma affects 1 in 200 people aged fifty and younger, and 1 in 10 over the age of eighty."

Lovely - the one time I beat the odds it isn't a lottery ticket or finding out I'm a Russian princess who mysteriously disappeared in infancy and was raised in secret by an adoptive family... nooooo - it's finding out that I have the old lady eye disease.

I'd even take winning a free Canadian donut over this.

For an artist being told that you have a disease that really, really could make you go blind is terrifying.

I'm trying to concentrate on the fact that it's treatable, and so far there's no damage to my optic nerves and I'm really young for Glaucoma. Insanely young. A mere infant in Glaucoma years.

Yeah, there probably aren't Glaucoma years, but throw me a bone would you?

God's sense of humour is going seriously overboard with this whole suckeye thing.

You are not funny, Sir.