Momartfully

Away in a Manger

This year's Nativity Play was a hilarious, filled with adorable miniature shepherds and angels in their bathrobes.

My littlest was thrilled to be playing Mary. The best part of the play was when "Mary" gently lifted up the wee baby Jesus doll from behind the manger... then grabbed him by the legs and THWACKED the doll into the hay-filled manger.

*thunk*

The audience giggled.

Then "Mary" took the "donkey" hobby-horse she rode in to Bethlehem on and laid it on top of baby Jesus - just for good measure.

The audience roared.

Happy birthday baby Jesus!

A Fish That Has Ceased To Be

Yesterday one of our family pets passed away.

"Admiral Bubbles" - who I'm told was a girl fish (a girl and an Admiral! Marlo Thomas would be SO proud of my mad feminist mothering skillz with my equal opportunity kiddos). Evidently playing Free to Be You and Me in the minivan over and over again has made a difference.

So anyway - the Admiral has passed on after a long and much - er - decorated career as a fish. Literally decorated - that fish tank was very pretty, stickers, coloured pebbles, shells, a shark decoration that declared "bite me" and even a cloth fish painstakingly cut out of a remnant of material and taped to the lid "so she could see another fish and wouldn't be lonely".

Interestingly, we didn't have a fishy funeral. I always thought that a fish funeral or two would be an expected part of this parenting gig. I could picture the whole family clustered awkwardly around the toilet bowl while a tearful child delivers a eulogy to a beloved former pet (adorable video) and then a burial at sea. It seemed like a universal rite of passage.

In reality the burial at sea was performed by M while the kids were at school. M offered a funeral service to my bereaved son, but the response was that he "didn't want to be there for that."

Wii, Wii, oui... all the way home

My parents were in town visiting last week for a couple days to run some errands in the city and then head back into the wilderness before the next big snowfall. I came home late last Monday after a very busy day and a very frosty walk from the bus. I knew my kids were snug at home, hanging out with Gramma after school and maybe indulging in a wholesome craft activity or baking cookies.

Riiight.

I opened the front door and was immediately run down by two very, very excited kids.

"Look Mom, LOOK! Look what Gramma got us! MommommommomMOMmomMOMMOMMOM... SO cool. So COOL. Mom LOOK!"

I peeled off my coat and scarf. "What? What is it?"

(thinking please dear God don't let it be a puppy!)

"See? Isn't it COOL?" My son held up a white remote control and pointed it at the TV.

Wait. A white remote?

Oh. My. God. My mom got the family a Wii for Christmas.

On a school night.

-----

A couple hours later it was declared that my mom got ME the Wii for Christmas - because the kids wouldn't stop fighting about who the Wii belonged to and who got to go first or got the remote first and who got to play longer or better or which game they played... or...

Sigh. Does the Wii serve Martiniis?

Hourly Photo Project

Today was the "Hourly Photo Project" (see Andrea's blog entry for more details and a list of participants).

The assignment was to take one photo each hour of our day. I took the extra challenge and tried for no retakes - and didn't completely succeed - there were a couple unsteady shots I re-took. My day went fast - but it's wasn't literally a blur.

I took the photos with my camera phone and whatever environmental lighting there was for each event. Here's what my day looked like (or rather, what my day  was looking at)...

6 a.m.

On my way to catch the bus to work. The sun isn't even up yet, and the roads are pretty deserted.

7 a.m.

Knitting on the bus. I'm working on a ruffle scarf for my daughter - with yarn she picked out Click "Verve 110" and Shetland's Classic Wool in "Rich Red Tweed". I'm knitting with a 8mm bamboo circular needle - much easier to use on the bus during the rush hour squeeze than long straight needles. After all, I might poke someone - completely by accident. Of course. ;-)

8 a.m.

Already at the office, getting a start on my day and surveying my cubicle "flair";

• the pink pom-pom creature by my monitor is a "Warm Fuzzy" gift from one of my kids, made in Kindergarten class
• jewel case pumpkin calendar - a department project/perk. It's a major accomplishment that it's on the correct month today, usually it takes me a few days to change over
• my stand-up Swingline stapler - sadly in blue not iconic red.
• Various incarnations of sticky notes, because you can never have too many sticky notes

9 a.m.

I'm on my way to a meeting, and I stopped to peer over the handrail at the atrium in the center of the building. Allll the way down...

10 a.m.

Coffee break time - paid for, not free - because I don't look like my pet.

11 a.m.

In a meeting with a colleague, who was wearing these cute sandals. I'm wearing boots - I've already surrendered to Fall.

12 noon

Time to head out for some lunch. And some colour... any colour...

1 p.m.

Drinking yet more coffee (in an environmentally un-friendly cup) and feeling a little Twitchy now.

2 p.m.

Still working. Move along. Nothing much to see here, folks.

3 p.m.

My Veer "Excuses and Alibis and Reasons Why" spiral-bound cubicle swag. There's a bunch of photos with captions explaining why I'm not in my cubicle. The caption for this "Where Am I?" photo: "Daycare called. Another 'Incident'".

4 p.m.

Heading home from work, through the trees, looking at the stained glass bridge up above the sidewalk.

5 p.m.

Driving home in the car with M, we made a quick stop to drop off a very sexy stage light for a client of M's. M loves LED stage lights. If M had his way this is what our house would look like every Christmas.

6 p.m.

We took the kids to Red Lobster as a treat.

The kids enjoyed ripping various sea creatures to pieces. It was a quick (and tasty) demise.

7 p.m.

Bathtime. With Captain Rex, of course.

8 p.m.

Bedtime for both kiddos.

9 p.m.

A London Fog (Earl Grey & Lavender black tea, vanilla syrup & steamed milk) for mom while the kids settle down for the night... and maybe a little more knitting.

10 p.m.

Catching up on some great new media content; Did You Know 4.0  I enjoyed the video and I think I'll be using it at work (like many other great instructional videos) - even if I was momentarily Rick Roll'd.

11 p.m.

I'm in my pajamas and my bathrobe. Night everyone!

My Son's Value Is Beyond His Price

As a Canadian I believe health care is a basic human right. Period.

I believe that ALL humans have the RIGHT to have access to health services regardless of their gender, religion, race, sexuality, nationality or income level. Preexisting or new, chronic or acute, systemic or isolated issues, inexpensive and straight-forward or complex and expensive... it doesn't matter. It is humane to heal the sick, it is decent to tend to those who are wounded, it a basic and universal.

To be human is to care for those in need.
 
It is simply part of being Canadian to share the cost of caring for all - and despite what you may hear - it works.

I watched US newscasts last night to try to understand the health-care debate - and I was profoundly shocked to hear that some Americans do NOT believe that health care is a basic human right.

Health care is NOT a basic human right.
 
That is a jaw-dropping and astonishing concept for a Canadian. In Canada it IS a right.

I have a medically complicated special needs child. He has a congenital syndrome, he was born that way - different from the time he was a Zygote due to a series of changes in his very DNA. He had multiple birth defects (most are surgically corrected) and systemic issues (brain damage, a profound hearing impairment, Epilepsy, and much more). He was also premature and required a number of surgeries - and will need more.

If I lived in the US not only would I have been bankrupted by the costs  of providing for my son's rocky start in life - but both my children may have never been born at all. I would have felt that I REQUIRED extensive prenatal testing - not for any known preexisting condition - but because I would feel that I could NOT give birth to a sick child that would not have it's medical needs met. I would know that anything BUT a healthy child would be catastrophic.

My entire family's future could be destroyed, our house could be taken away, any other children traumatized and everyone's futures ruined - just because a child wasn't genetically perfect. My son has immeasurable value as a person - and while he had a complicated and shaky start in life he is now a sunny, brilliant child filled with promise. He overcame his neurological problems and now hears and walks and tests in the gifted range.  Nobody predicted his amazing progress and he continues to push forward against the odds.

He will do amazing things for our world.

In the US my son would probably never would have been born - because it would have cost too much.

In Canada my son's value has been - and always will be - far beyond his price.

recommended reading: 

• PhD in Parening: "Public Health Care: Canadian Perspectives on Myths and Reality"
• book discussing expecting a child with genetic issues: "Choosing Naia" (Amazon)

What Will Your Kids Be (this week, anyway) & 3 Scarves

Based on your kid's interests lately, what would you say they would grow up to be?

My darling, dainty, Tinkerbell loving, pink-and-glitter-on-everything little girl wants to drive a big rig.

This week, anyway.

Our day home caregiver's husband is a long-haul truck driver. A couple weeks ago the caregiver's husband and grown son took the bigger kids to go visit his BIG truck.

She was HOOKED. Smitten. Clutching the steering wheel, chattering on the radio and waving out the window.

However that dashboard may be a wee bit of a problem - she probably should be able to see the road.

She even asked - I'm so not kidding - if I had any "tattoos" in the house. She wanted a tattoo - the wet transfer kind. I explained to her that real tattoos are made with needles and hurt. She didn't seem deterred.

Thankfully Miami Ink isn't on Treehouse TV.

My son normally states he wants to be an author. A children's author, a graphic novelist or "something like Percy Jackson" - as long as he's writing, he's happy.

But lately he's been all about trees.

He scaled every tree in my parent's commercial orchard this summer - and that's a LOT of trees.

He's building a treehouse in our back yard - by himself.

He spends almost all his time in the back yard hanging out in the trees, thinking, talking to friends and figuring out how to fasten the tree house to the tree without nails, "The nails hurt the tree, mom."

He's also perfecting his climbing skills by clinging to the door trim and climbing up the walls - or climbing up opposing walls in the hallway.

Peter Parker (Spiderman) was a writer, wasn't he?

Three Scarves

On the knitting front - I've been cranking out a lot of scarves this week. I knit when I'm stressed, and since I've resigned my current job and accepted another job offer - I'm just a wee bit stressed. It's change - and I'm not good with change - it's a good change, but still. Stress.

So, I'm knitting.

I'm going to be giving out a lot of scarves for Christmas. 

Finished this a "slubby" hand-dyed merino wool scarf in orange

...and this a gorgeous pure viscose moss stitch scarf in teal

...and this dollar store find! Grey mix slubby acrylic yarn

Now I'm working on another dollar store find scarf - a pink 2 strand (eyelash and chenille) yarn that will be combined with a pink organic cotton yarn (how's for a combination LOL). I'm also working on a purple kettle dyed merino wool scarf (it's sooo soft), some cotton dishcloths (always!) and thinking about tackling the goat yarn (that I first mentioned here).

I hope it'll be a cold winter.

Orthodontic Zoo

Early this morning we pried the kids out of bed for a visit to the orthodontist - and bribed them with a promise to visit the zoo that afternoon.

Thankfully our orthodontist is insanely kid friendly (Game-boys and Nintendo DS while you wait!) and the orthodontist didn't scare the bejeebers out of him - mostly because the verdict was "needs extensive orthodontic work" and "he's too small for the work now, check back in six months". This is probably the first time ever that DS's delayed physical development has been an advantage.

Ortho work will be needed to correct: a 100% overbite (top teeth completely cover bottom teeth when he closes his mouth), his jaw is set too far back, jaw mis-aligned side-to-side, intense crowding so his lower jawbone will need to be expanded either with "appliances" or surgery, and a minor surgical procedure on the fraenum (upper lip to gum tissue) that is causing a gap in his front teeth.

When the orthodontist used the word "appliances" it scared me. DS remained remarkably calm for the visit - he flirted with all the other dental chair residents (teenage girls) and he didn't flee at the mention of the word "appliances" or "surgery". Then again, he was a wee bit busy playing Spiderman on the Game Boy at that point.

I admire the orthodontist's self-control - he did not rub his hands in glee at the prospect of how much work will be needed - at least not until after we left. Ah well, this wasn't entirely unexpected - it is more work and trauma for DS than I had hoped, not to mention the expense (thank you dear God for benefits) - but it is not as bad as it could have been.

I guess this all comes with the territory of having a kid with a rare disorder and a perverse and mischievous personality. He keeps me on my toes.

-----

So then it was off to the Zoo. Thankfully the animals were certainly co-operating today and they posed and paraded around beautifully.

I climbed to the top of the bleachers near the giraffe enclosure and flirted outrageously with the closet giraffe. (I lurve giraffes!) To my delight the closest giraffe ambled over and stopped for a nice long snack at the tree right next to me. The kids ran over to oogle my leggy friend and were squealing in delight. 

I swear I saw the giraffe grinning.

The visiting koalas were a huge draw - and they obligingly posed for us - in their sleep (this photo is mostly for Mar, she didn't get to see the koalas when she visited).

Sorry it's a blurry pic - my cellphone camera can only do so much - and the window was so smudged looked like it had been licked. Repeatedly. Since the Zoo Keeper explained koalas are only awake for about 2 hours a day... it made me wonder a wee bit about what exactly those naughty marsupials are up to in that two hour time slot to smudge the window so... enthusiastically.

The kids even got along for most of the trip. I mean... look at that photo - they're admiring the zebras and they're voluntarily touching in a non-violent way. They even look like they like each other.

I think we saw about half of the Zoo residents, and that was enough. Everyone was tired by the end of the day - including M.

Good thing we rented that wagon for the kids.

How to wrap (not Rap) like Martha

I am the first person to admit that I am not domestic. I am, however, unnaturally fond of wrapping gifts in creative ways - which I believe is something that Martha Stewart has done, on occasion. ;-) 

The daughter of my darling friend Trish (@designfiend) is getting married next weekend. I keep insisting that @designfiend must have had her babies when she was a practically a baby herself. This is mainly due to the fact that I am in deep denial that my friends and I are of a certain age and approaching a time when we could technically be grandmothers. I just HAD my kids. We are not old. Spring chicks.

Maybe if I keep saying it enough it will be true.

So @designfiend's gorgeous daughter bravely invited not only M and I to her wedding, but my darling children, too. 

While shopping for itty bitty little girl formal dresses I found a gorgeous purple satin-and-tulle number (only $40!) for my little girl. My daughter is of the age when her design ideas center around anything resembling a ballerina's performance wardrobe; tutus, tiaras and tulle.

I also found an adorable satin evening purse for my daughter at a dollar store - not that I normally shop at dollar stores for evening wear, but it was a cheap opportunity I couldn't refuse.

My little girl is just thrilled with her outfit - so thrilled she has to be physically restrained from wearing it every day.

Shopping for diminutive suits is also a lot of fun. My little boy has insisted that he does NOT want a tuxedo (he wore one for a wedding two years ago, charming everyone, but evidently he found it a traumatic experience).

"I want to look like James Bond" he insisted - but with a bow tie. The tie pictured will not do - he really wants a bow tie.

So M and I are off this afternoon to scour the city for a little boy size bow tie.

I'm not sure where my son's preference for a bow tie came from, but couple that with his chess skills... and genetic predisposition toward glasses... and I think I may need to sign him up for karate lessons. Soon.

While shopping for our togs is fun, my favourite part of preparing to be a wedding guest is wrapping the gifts.

Our gifts for this bride have had a very domestic theme - for her bridal shower we gave her a big basket filled with towels, bathroom accessories and some facecloths I knitted.

The wedding gift is also some textiles and accessories - as well as a gift card.

---

How to wrap (not Rap) like Martha

Materials:

• 1 heavy, large circumference vase
• 6 long-handled wooden spoons
• more long-handled utensils (if desired)
• 4 tea towels in "flower" colour
• 4 pillow cases in "flower" colour
• 2 pillow cases in "leaves" colour
• 1 roll of basket wrap
• tissue paper
• ribbon
• scissors
• card spike (from florist)
• gift card

Line the vase with one of the "leaf" colour pillow cases.

Leave at least two corners of the pillow case draped over the vase edge for use later.

Fill the inside of the pillowcase lining the vase with crumpled up tissue paper.

Place the labels from the tea towels, wooden spoons and pillow cases in the center with the crumpled up tissue paper (for the bride and groom to refer to after opening the gift). Ensure that the labels and tissue paper are pushed to the bottom half of the vase.

Fold the second "leaf" colour pillow case.

Arrange the pillow case on the diagonal on a table in front of you. Fold the pillow case in an accordion fold from one corner to the opposite diagonal corner.

Tie ribbon around the center of the folded pillow case. Curl the ribbon ends.

Spread out the corners of the pillow case to resemble leaves.

Set "leaves" aside.

 Fold one of the tea towels or two of the pillow cases length-wise.

Fold one of the tea towels or two of the pillow cases length-wise again.

Place one of the wooden spoons off-center on the tea towel.

Fold the cloth to the side, over the spoon.

Continue to roll the cloth around the spoon until you get to the end of the cloth.

Experiment with the off-center placement of the spoon inside the roll until you get the ends of the rolled up "flower" on opposite sides (see picture). It is important that the ends not bunch together on one side of the "flower".

Tie off with ribbon, curl the ribbon ends.

Spread out the "petals" of the flower - the ends of the tea towel or pillow case - to make the flower.

Experiment with pulling the towel and spreading the flower open.

Fold some of the petals down over the ribbon tied around the flower.

Place the finished "flowers" in the vase wooden spoon handle down. Experiment with the placement of the flowers until you are happy with the layout.

Use the crumpled up tissue to stabilize the "stems" of the flowers by adding more tissue in the bottom of the vase, if necessary.

Insert the "leaves" into the bouquet, securing them with ribbon to the "stem" of one of the "flowers". Spread out the leaves.

Add additional curled ribbon to some of the "stems" of the "flowers" so the ribbon drapes out of the bouquet.

If there are additional utensils, insert the additional utensils - handle side down - into the "bouquet".

Wrap a square of gift basket wrap around the vase and secure with ribbon.

Insert the card and gift card (if desired) into the bouquet (also I recommend taping a ribbon to the back of the card and securing it to one of the flowers so the card doesn't get lost).

Admire your work!

But she's the healthy one!

The kids are still out of town, at my parent's orchard. I got a call today from my mom, she took my youngest (daughter) in to the local hospital ER because she's been sick for a few days.

She's had a weird cyclical fever. Up for a couple hours and she was a sick little girl... then normal and she was perky. Mom was attributing the fever and behavior to homesickness and an emotional little girl missing her mommy and M.

I did caution Mom that I just tested positive for Strep and needed antibiotics - so I asked my mom to keep an eye on the fever and if it continued... tell any Dr. they see that my daughter has been exposed - and get her on antibiotics.

Well, a couple days later it turns out that indeed yes, my daughter also has Strep... but there's something more concerning as well. The ER Dr. told my mom that he could hear a significant heart murmur and that we need to have it checked ASAP.

Now, normally I wouldn't panic much about a murmur... I know enough about cardiac health to know that there's a baker's dozen of completely benign heart murmurs out there. My son was born with a couple heart issues - this wasn't new to me. I also know that Strep can be associated with heart issues. I also learned a great deal more about cardiology less than a year ago because my son wore a heart monitor to school for a month to rule out another heart issue.

Plus on the "M" Zen Daddy side of things... M's niece has had open heart surgery.Twice. She's a heart kiddo.

So... yeah. We know hearts, we've done the heart thing.

My daughter was checked for cardiac issues both in utero and at birth by a Perinatologist and a Pediatric Cardiologist. She was given a clean bill of health - no sign of the congenital cardiac issues or any other issues. The doctors basically pronounced her healthy and stated that it sure looked like my new little girl lucked out in the genetic lottery.

The problem is - I thought this baby was safe. I did not expect to be sideswiped by this from that particular child. She's the healthy one! It isn't supposed to happen this way - I don't panic when my son gets sick - mostly because I know I have to deal first and I can fall apart later when it's not an emergency. I've had practice with him... but not with her. It's not that I care differently about them or any sickness - I just wasn't prepared for this.

I guess that's the essence of parenthood, isn't it? It isn't the problems that you anticipate that get you, it's the sneaky problems that come out of nowhere and lay you out flat wondering what hit you.

I thought she was safe, and now I'm left wondering - and trying to not be emotional because my baby! Is far away! And sick! And needs me! And it could be bad! And it's my baby!

I'll put in a call tomorrow morning to our Pediatrician and get a stat referral for tests from the Cardiology Clinic at the local kid's hospital.

You better believe I am thanking my lucky stars right now that we have a Pediatrician... and a Pediatric Cardiologist... and a kid's hospital.

And I will cross every finger and toe I have - and light enough candles to light New York City for a month if I have to - to ensure that this is all just a great big silly misunderstanding and my "healthy" child is indeed my healthy child.

Full Circle Fur Baby

The kitten, now almost 10 months old.
She is a "Torbie" (tabby/tortoiseshell cross).

I'll never give birth to more than two children (hopefully we won't inherit any either, as that would only be due to a disaster, and we don't want that to happen).

After multiple early miscarriages, two pregnancies with life-threatening complications (HELLP & a DVT and PE) and two later pregnancy losses that were also life threatening... we're done playing reproduction roulette. Absolutely. Done.

I think the hardest pregnancy loss was the last one - a complete, unplanned surprise - but a nice surprise. We saw the baby waving at us at the ultrasound scan - just over a day before we lost the baby.

Months later when we decided to adopt the kitten at Christmas I didn't even think about her age - but a while later I was going through her paperwork from the store - and there it was. The kitten's birth certificate.

Her birthday was the same day the baby would have been due.

Now... while my kitten certainly isn't another child - and doesn't replace another child, I know that to me this seems like there is a plan in the universe. There was a young soul waiting, who needed us. Needed a family.

And that's enough.

Catching up. Catch all? Ketchup?

Well, I'm finally catching up after a couple weeks of non-stop action. I realize that "non-stop action" makes the last couple weeks sound much more appealing and exciting than they really were. By action I mean traipsing back and forth to the hospital, cleaning up vomit and kitten poop (she HAD to contribute!) and cuddling sick kids. Other exciting action:

• dealing with the virus that tried to maim our family
• recovering from the virus that tried to maim our family
• noticing the house kinda fell apart while the virus ruled supreme
• falling into bed and ignoring the house of virus for another night
• waking up cranky because no magical cleaning fairy visited while I slept
• coffee = all better!

Everybody's recovering nicely from the virus, my daughter's Asthma is back under good control. My son just had a mild cold and the Zen Master simply willed the germs out of his body (actually he got sick - stoically sick - too, but he prefers the Zen Master version). I'm still struggling but well medicated - just not with the fun medicines. Things are improving nicely.

The Art Goes On

As always, the art goes on in our house, come famine, flood or 'flu. Last week's "Friday photo" from work is one of the newest additions to my proud mommy bulletin board. Centered riiiiiiiight over my desk at work.

Yes, I'm one of those annoyingly proud moms at work and I decorate my office with the sometimes incomprehensible scribbles my kids crank out. It makes my kids happy and it gives people who visit my office something to desperately stare at while I talk with my hands.

This particular piece is two trees, vines and a monkey flanking a lovely Beavelesaurus specimen. "He's half beaver, half elephant, and half Stegosaurus."

Yes, I know, three halves.
Her math skills will make her a fine Canadian politician some day. So proud.

Knitting Update

Much knitting has been going on... unfortunately not a lot of taking photographs of said knitting has been going on. I made a small stack of dishcloths to give away to a bride-to-be last weekend. Since I'm making stacks more for friends I figured I could take photos later.

I'm almost finished the art piece/purse for Monica - I like to call it the Iris bag, the colours remind me of irises in full bloom. Photos to come.

If Ever There was a Reason to Say SQUEEE!

M came home with a present for me. For me!

Adobe CS4 - Design Premium. Don't hate me because it's beautiful. I've lusted after a home copy for years (ever since my previous Adobe software became obsolete - and it was purchased in the 90s!).

I haven't loaded it on to my machine yet.

Yet.

I just like to look at it.

So happy.

(...and no, this isn't a product endorsement or a free sample I was asked to review. If and/or when I review products on my blog it's because I actually like them and use them and I've most likely paid for them myself.)

Hospital 2 - Family 0

We've had a couple of busy and heavily medicated weeks at Casa Momartfully.

Last week I ended up in the hospital due to a nasty virus that triggered an even nastier Asthma attack.

Then this week my daughter ended up in the hospital with an Asthma attack.

Waiting in ER to see if my dauther's lastest Ventolin treatment will work... knitting away so I don't climb the walls.

So thankful for doctors, medicine, having a kid-friendly hospital, knitting to keep me sane... and Treehouse TV this week.

Little Girl's Rainbow Bag

Just finished a few hand-knit bags for girls (some little, a couple grown up) over the past week, and I will be posting them in the next few days (I've been recovering from a nasty cold and trip to the hospital, and the enforced inactivity/recovery has increased my knitting output lately).

First, the Rainbow Bag, made for a friend of my son's, knit on the round, in acrylic (so it's washable). She absolutely LOVES it. The handle is long enough to sit under her arm or as a nice little handbag/clutch. I made it big enough for little girl essentials (lip gloss, Kleenex and a Barbie wallet) without being too big for the little girl. It's about 8 inches wide.

The body of the purse is stocking stitch, the top flap is in garter stitch - with smaller stripes. The handle is also stocking stitch, curled in on itself. There's also a flat insert at the bottom of the bag and darts on either side.

The toggle closure - with a stitched buttonhole (I made it as sturdy as possible).

A view of the inside of the purse - underside of the top flap. It was knit on the round, the flap is a double-length extension, folded over and seamed on the underside. The front edge is stocking stitch curled on itself.

Dove Sleepover For Self Esteem

Some quick photos from our co-ed "Dove Sleepover For Self Esteem". 12 kids, a bunch of sleeping bags, lots of moms & "momtinis" and one Dad (M).

All the kids had their nails painted - including the boys, who preferred this "happy face" design.

Some of the girls relaxing while getting their facials and drying their nails.

All the perler bead crafts from the party.

The most popular makeover target was M - and I would show you photos of his divine eyeshadow and manicure (and bright red pedicure!) but he might be a bit mortified. But he is loved by all those kids who "helped" him.

Everyone had lots of fun and can't wait until next year's sleepover.

What dreams may come... like they'll actually SLEEP!

I'm hosting a sleep over for about a dozen girls, boys and some moms tomorrow. About a dozen people or so.

I'm not quite sure precisely how many will be here - it'll depend on how the kids react (for some of the littler ones it will be their first sleep away from home), and there's probably some who didn't RSVP but are planning on coming.

It doesn't really matter that we don't have a concrete number of guests - the more the merrier! When you reach a certain critical mass of guests, adding a few more doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. As Meagan Francis Tweeted to me tonight; "whenever my boys have a sleepover the other parents are like "are you SURE?" i say, what's one more pound to an elephant?". Since Meagan has a larger than average family she's a bit of an authority on entertaining crowds IMHO.

This sleep over party is part of the Canada-wide Dove Sleep Over For Self-Esteem. This is our family's second year of participating in the sleep over. The kids love this event.

Every year there's a self-esteem enhancing movie, lots of resources and even free PJs available. We'll be watching Ella Enchanted on YTV and requisite experts at the breaks talking about self esteem and self image, not such a bad thing, but they do tend to talk for a while...

We have a few of our own things planned as well;

• the girls requested mud masks & cucumber facials & pedicures
• the boys requested baking cookies with M
• most of the kids will be making Perler bead crafts
• probably a pillow fight or nine
• a morning-after Lego and Polly Pocket minefield to wade through
• a Momtini or ten

I heart the Dove "Real Beauty" campaign (and their videos, including this classic, "Evolution").

Pirates VS Fairies - A Birthday Party

This weekend was another birthday party - this year's theme? Tinkerbell. (If you haven't been hanging around little girls this year you might not get it. Tinkerbell and associated fairy clique from Pixie Hollow are the IT girls of 2009.)

There was a wee problem with the fairy party theme, though, as every one of the fairies - including my own - had a very loved brother who would also be coming to the party. The brothers took a universal (and understandable) stand against boy fairies.Was not. Going. To happen.

There was a solution to the problem, suggested by my little fairy's loving but firm - brother, "There are boys in Peter Pan... and pirates! Tinkerbell is from Peter Pan. The boys can be pirates!"

This was said with so much... relish... that I wondered what would happen. What was he thinking?

I found out.

The party went well - a house filled with sparkles, and "arrrghs". It was Fairies VS Pirates for most of the party - kids baracading themselves in one bedroom or another while the "enemy" planned their attack.

I now know that cutlasses and wands are pretty evenly matched in a fight.

The movie went over well (another big screen event like the Star Wars birthday). The cake was lovely - a Tinkerbell cake of course... very bright and adorable, the girls loved it. The boys ignored the girlie colours and wolfed down the chocolate cake inside. M and I tried to ignore the fact that washing the icing off the dishes was remarkably like washing Vaseline off of the dishes - only in brighter colours.

We bought a huge bouquet of flowers for decorating the house. Actually, I confess... the flowers were not the crowning touch of my beautiful, well kept home... the flowers were to help hide my lack of domesticality. I buy flowers, dim the lights and serve strong drinks to the parents in the hopes that they will not notice my less than Martha level of housekeeping.

I whipped up a quick Monarch butterfly pipe-cleaner animal to decorate the flowers and sort of tie in with the fairy theme.

The girls loved dressing up for the party - the house was filled with beautiful, sparkling fairies and bright sunny smiles...

The mini pirates, including my own, looked suitably dastardly and very happy with their pirate-ness.

My own mini-pirate woke me up that morning with "Mom! I'm ready for the party and I'm already wearing my costume." Costume? What costume my bleary sleep-muddled mind tried to sort out and I struggled out of the blankets. We hadn't organized a costume yet...

"I've even done some scars!"

Scars? "What?" I cracked open one eye.

"See?!?" A bandana, a cute striped shirt, a cutlass in a belt slung over his shoulder... eyepatch, a lot of his sister's play jewelry... and what was on his face? Scars? There was marker all over his face. He had drawn a small red scar on one cheek, and a lovely gruesome scar over the other eye.

"What did you draw that with?" I asked. "My markers!" he said, grinning.
"You mean the permanent markers?" I asked, but I already knew the answer.
Yes. The permanent markers.

A little while later he observed, "Wow, mom. That stuff doesn't wash off."

"Yeah. That's why it's called permanent, dear."

Guess who's going to school tomorrow covered in pirate scars?

He's thrilled.

Keeping a Sick Kid Busy (Dress Up Dolls)

How do you keep a sick kid busy?  Keeping sick kids occupied is my Waterloo - especially when my darling children "share" their colds with me. I prefer to keep them on the couch or in bed with a box of tissues, a "barf bowl" and an ear thermometer nearby. Sometimes they have to be immobile for tests (DS has to lie still for EEGs and EKGs) or at the hospital (the worst is after after a Ventolin neb treatment for Asthma, so jittery!).

I usually load them up with a snack, books, some music and some small toys - which keeps them occupied for at least 30 seconds.

So I pull out the craft supplies (can you hear me saying "Ta Da!" in my head?)

Warning: move your good craft, sewing, knitting and other supplies out of reach (way out of reach!) before your kids start hunting for supplies for their "projects". Once they've started hunting for materials - it's like trying to stop a herd of wildebeests. They'll grab anything that looks good, especially if it's expensive and you've already made plans for it and the sight of a gaping hole in that lovely trim or your chopped up bit of mohair yarn is enough to drive you completely around the bend...

Not that anything like that has happened to me.

One of our favourite sick kid activity: dress up dolls.

Draw a doll-shape on felt fabric & cut out. Hand your child some felt fabric, washable markers, a glue stick, safety scissors, stickers and paper patterns traced from the doll to make a "wardrobe".

The doll needed underwear. With pink polka-dots.

Use tassel trim for doll hair (see above) and attach it to the doll firmly. Tassel trim doll hair tangles less and has a curly, shiny look and it takes a lot less time to attach than wool hair. Use other trim types for hats, crowns and skirts (the crown above is really trim with spangles, so is the pink skirt below). I buy bags and bags of trim remnants from fabric stores - it works great and it's inexpensive.

Felt, heavier weight cardboard (cereal boxes, gift bags) and construction paper all work for dress-up doll sets, too. Pipe cleaners, stickers and paper doilies can also add some variety to their "wardrobe". Keep it all in a plastic container with a lid (the lid can be the work surface and stage) with the designer supplies - and you can recycle the "wardrobe" when the kids are bored with it.

Even your other kids can get in on the fashion designer action - or you can make them "dolls" more suitable for their taste; dress up the monster, dress the alien, outfit the horse, or one of my favourites, the "Pediatric Picasso" felt shapes for making abstract art work (very popular in kids hospitals).

The point isn't to make it perfect, it's about experimenting and keeping their minds off feeling sick.

Other great projects? Hand them a "puppet kit" - a box of pipe cleaners, clean old socks and stickers. For more patient kids origami or paper airplanes might keep them occupied. A flashlight in a darkened room is great for hand shadows... or my favourite as a kid - macrame friendship bracelets and even plant hangers (an I.V. pole is fantastic for hanging macrame or skeins of wool off of BTW).

Have fun and get well soon!

Little Red (and pink, and orange) Riding Poncho

Well, the poncho for my daughter is done - the poncho with no end, as I called it.

I seriously never thought it would end - I got so used to knitting hats that I was spoiled with my expectations of how long it took to get a "finished object" (FO). I was in denial about how much square footage of knitting it takes to turn out a poncho. Even for a little kid as skinny as my string-bean daughter.

In retrospect, the poncho should have been a project for the knitting machine - but since I haven't unpacked the machine yet, or checked & oiled it, and the clock was ticking (this is a project for Spring) I needed to knit this project by hand ASAP.

Besides the machine still scares me, a little.

The hood turned out lovely (ignore the ends-they're not woven in yet)

The view from the back with the hood down.

So here is Little Red (and pink, and orange) Riding... Poncho... in all her glory. (There's more photos in Ravelry).

My daughter LOVES it, it knit up nice and soft and with a lovely feel. She adores the colors (Pattons "Astra" light (3) weight yarn in the colour "High Energy").

I still haven't woven in the ends, but I wanted to take some photos of the poncho while my daughter was awake.

I created this pattern myself, inspired by a crochet pattern from Bernat (requires membership to view), but knit instead of crochet (see below for instructions). I used 4 balls of yarn with maybe 5 meters of yarn left over - which was kind of tight, so I recommend using 5 balls just in case. The extra can be used for fringe, a tassel on the hood, a matching doll poncho or matching knit bag...

IMHO it's always better to have too much yarn than too little.

Next project: a camouflage pattern sweater for my son, using this Bernat "Camo Kids" pattern. It's the last pattern on the list-the "Hooded Pullover". I'll be making it with "Renegade" colour "Camo" medium weight yarn (that name made me giggle-I haven't met many renegades wearing a sweater their mom knit-but my son picked out that colour, so that's what we'll go with).

On to the good stuff... here's the pattern in PDF format Enjoy!

God's Sense of Humour in the Bookstore

As we often do M the kids and I ended up at a book store this evening. Judging from the number of books in bookcases in our home (and even more telling the number of books that don't fit in the bookcases) this isn't an unusual circumstance for us. The additional motivating factor we had for our bookstore visit was the gift card burning a hole in my son's pocket (a birthday present from his biological father). He wanted to spend it. Now!

There are some days where I can see the "hand of God" in everyday things... and I know that God has a sense of humor. Our bookstore trip yielded:

• Domiknitrix - I was very reluctant to return this book to the library, but I did, just this morning. I really loved that book. I hadn't seen a copy of it in any knitting section of any bookstore I've been in recently. I loved that book - but I knew I needed to return it. That's what libraries are all about (this is a hard concept for me... this sharing thing).

So I let it go.

It is rather Karmic that I found it the same night at the random bookstore we wandered in to - and it had never been in stock before.

• a sheep puppet (from Folkmanis), slightly damaged and on sale.

I've been trying to make myself a stuffed sheep (with hideous results) for a month. The sheep puppet we found tonight is so adorable... and since I'm a zodiac Sheep I'm rather partial to it.

Especially as it's "slightly damaged" - aren't we all?

I must confess, we have a puppet problem in this household - we probably more than a dozen Folkmanis puppets in our house, including some we special ordered - a few of our puppets are now discontinued "collector's items" (who knew?). I think they're still more valuable to us - but it is nice to know there's a secondary college fund available, if needed.

• I also found the book Momma Zen - on sale for $5.00.

After my post about M the Zen Master yesterday, how could I resist a book with that title?

God certainly has a sense of humor!

Star Wars birthday

If it isn't obvious, my son is nuts about Star Wars. So when it came time to plan his birthday party for this year, the theme was a given; Star Wars. This year he'd like to invite his friends to watch Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones - big screen style. Since we're not landed gentry, we don't have a "home theatre" - so we're renting a portable screen and a digital DVD projector. We're also making lots of popcorn and hot dogs... and bracing ourselves for a house filled with kids. LOTS of kids.

The invitations went out this week, and they have a Star Wars theme (see above). My son and I had a wonderful time customizing the invitations together (see the "Movie awards party invitation" template for Microsoft Office Publisher 2007). So far the "reviews" are good (wink).

The cover is the inside of a movie theater with the "Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones" title on the screen. The inside of the invitation features the opening "crawl" on the left side (italics are changes from the original movie crawl):

"A long time ago, in a city not so far away..."
Episode (age)                    
It is a period of celebration.
Rebel schoolchildren, striking                   
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil Parental Empire.

Instead of gifts we're asking for donations to our local food bank. He wasn't too sure about that particular aspect (what little kid doesn't want presents! Hey, I know I do sometimes) until I explained to him that we were helping others who may not even have food - and that we have had help from others.

It was pretty hard for my little boy to "give up" the idea of presents, but I'm pretty proud of him for doing so. What he doesn't know is he's getting a drool-worthy Star Wars Lego set as our gift.

May the Force be with us... we may need it.

No, Mommy, not the LECTURE!

Momversation's topic: "I Don't Like My Kid's Friends"

As a parent, I believe in the decency of almost all kids and I assume that almost all kids are good and kind - even if they sometimes slip up. Sometimes kids are mouthy, callous, or accidentally squish fingers or elbow someone in the eye while wrestling. It happens.

To me, that's not shun worthy behaviour.

After watching this episode of Momversation, though, I'm starting to wonder if I'm unusually lenient. I don't really feel - well, permissive - and my kids certainly don't think I am. One of the most dreaded consequences of misbehavior in our house is the LECTURE.

Unlike Mindy, I wouldn't shun a child that remarked "I can see your sister's boobies". Especially when that remark was directed at a toddler who is probably oblivious to the language. I'd probably deliver a quick lecture on appropriate language and respect for others, but understand that maybe the kid was shocked by her topless state, maybe the kid overheard grown-up language and was asking for guidance, or maybe he was just plain old showing off.

Besides, I've heard statements like that, and worse, from a few little 8-year old boys - including my son. I don't consider mouthy, obnoxious remarks to be a deal breaker. On the flip-side; I've seen plenty of kids who seem to have "perfect" manners for parents - but are horrendous bullies elsewhere. Perfect behaviour from a kid is suspicious behaviour - in my house.

I'll take the obnoxious - but kindhearted - potty mouth over the seemingly perfect little psychopath, any day.

Besides... if you're going to shun every kid that mouths off around your kids... well, you're going to run out of playmates for your child. 8 year old boys often don't have filters - but they're still good kids. Sometimes they're being rude because they're begging for information in an obnoxious way. Sometimes they honestly don't know they're being rude and are genuinely innocent. Mostly... they're showing off - much like a 25 year old with a Porche and a backwards facing ball cap; duude, check out the sweet word I picked up today; "BOOOOOBIE!".

They need to know where their boundary is. Desperately.

That would be my job.

If they're excited, tired, sugared up or just plain pushing buttons - statements like that are bound to come out. Kids will test us, and if we react hugely to everything... how on earth will they learn perspective?

My usual response to a snarky or obnoxious remark is to halt all activity with a bellow - in my best annoyed stage manager voice - in the midst of all the kids (that's key) with a loud, fear generating "WHAT WAS THAT?"

I find that deploying a kid eye-level, earnest, honest and very succinct lecture with all the squirming witnesses gathered around... and the additional demand for an apology to the "victim" is MUCH more effective than shunning the little miscreant. Kids HATE having their mom lecture them or (horrors!) lecture their friends.

But it works.

I also know that it is very likely that these kids are begging for a trusted, strong adult to guide them... and they're subconsciously asking me for guidance. They've heard something new and need to test it out on someone who won't punish them blindly, but will find out what's behind it, where their wires are crossed and straighten it all out for them.

That's also my job.

However, I draw the line at bullying.

I'll lecture for mouthing off and rude gestures - usually because I know these kids aren't coming from a place of harm. But if some little creep deliberately hurts any other kid on my watch - I do not tolerate it. Smashed fingers in doors are accidental... but snakebites, pinches, hair pulling, kicking and throwing punches... nasty, hurtful words like "fat, lazy, stupid, spaz or retard" that's unacceptable and is a felony offense in my home. I'll give them a chance to realize their mistake, but if it's continued behaviour they're asked to leave.

Any kid that would habitually deploy demeaning or abusive behaviour or language isn't welcome around my kids... and frankly, neither are their parents.

Adorable Hanukkah video by preschoolers

How cute is this video by 4 year olds, celebrating Hanukkah. By preschoolers, no less. So cute!

A Star Wars Christmas

My son updated our Nativity scene last night with his action figures from Star Wars.

I guess it makes sense in an little boy way... after all, it did take place "A long time ago and far, far away..."

For more "alternate" Nativity scenes check out the Cavalcade of Bad Nativities...

or bring over your own set of action figures. I'm sure the kids have lots of ideas to share with you.

Mommy, do you pee blue? (Where do babies come from?)

Today's topic on the Momversation community is "Mommy, Where Do Babies Come From?"

Boy can I relate... I remember having this discussion with my son and I was newly pregnant with my daughter. Unlike Heather this discussion wasn't triggered by the baby on the way (after a "challenging" reproductive history I deeply believe in the pregnancy jinx factor and avoid discussing pregnancies until the baby is emerging from my body). "The talk" was inspired by something else entirely.

It was something that never even occurred to me in considering my mothering career; my "lady supplies". I discovered one morning that the main bathroom had been rifled through and tampons and pads were scattered all over the bathroom by my very curious three year old son - who was supposed to be practicing his potty skills. Hoping to avoid a mortifying situation (and praying he was just looking for craft supplies? Maybe?) I cleaned up the mess and didn't mention it.

Until snack time, "Mom... do you pee blue?"

"Uh. What?"

"Do you pee blue? Like on TV. You have all those... things... in the bathroom... and on TV they're for blue pee. Is your pee blue?"

"Uhm. Well..." Inside I was screeching like a banshee. THE TALK! OH NO! He's only three?! And we're having THE TALK?

Now... it shouldn't be this difficult for me. Like Daphne's mom my mother had a very... pragmatic... approach to having "the talk" with me. In fact... when she discovered that my Catholic school was considering having Nuns teach us sexual education... my mother volunteered to teach the class, instead. You can IMAGINE how much fun that was - my friends thought she was the coolest mom EVAH and I just wanted to crawl under a rock.

Anyway... I girded my loins and told my son about the egg, the seed, and mommy's uterus getting ready for babies every month. I have always used the proper labels for my kids' bodies and they're aware of the structural differences (thank you Prudence and Joshua). I explained it to him in simple terms... and although it was difficult I'm glad I did.

But they don't "move on" - it doesn't become easier later on. Once they get to school it gets even more interesting. DS has gone to school armed with the facts of life (and under threat of dismemberment, because it is a CATHOLIC school!) and some sense of discretion and privacy. "Other families might not talk about this" seemed to keep a lid on DS. For now.

Magical elves isn't far off from what some of the kids at the school are discussing. There are some pretty interesting theories among DS's classmates. If there's anything elementary school kids can do well it's fill an information vacuum. DS talks about wanting to teach his friends, but he has been practicing discretion, he knows that it isn't his place... and mommy would kill him. There seems to be a lot of frustration and worry over this issue from his friends.

The other aspect that gets... interesting... as my kids get older... is as a single mom who is dating again. I'm in a new relationship (with M) and he lives here now. If you think "Mom, do you pee blue?" is hard... try dealing with an 8 year old who demands to know if you have sex with that guy.

"Mommy isn't having any more babies" was my way around that one. That seemed to satisfy him for now... but I can't dodge THAT bullet forever.

Kindergarten performance standards

What are your expectations for Kindergarten?

My expectations of my children (and not just in Kindergarten) are to be decent, kind, generous and curious people who strive to do their best in all areas of their lives. Kindergarten is the first formal environment where children are learning to be a decent human being to others; waiting their turn, sharing, cleaning up after themselves and practicing empathy.

Talking to one of the other moms at morning drop-off she seems to feel the same way. We were discussing our children who will be entering Kindergarten next year (my DD, her DS). I've known this mom ("A") my whole life and we've been raised with similar attitudes - if they're good kids - kind kids - that's what matters. IMHO a decent personality is the foundation of their future and needs to be built before any other achievement can be pursued.

Anyway, "A" and I are happy our kids will be in class together, the kids get along and they're both similar personalities (younger siblings who are assertive and very social and personable). The kids get along and "A" and I get along.

I mentioned that I was puzzled that there didn't seem to be many other Kindergarten age kids visiting the school. "A" mentioned that enrollment in the upcoming Kindergarten class is very low and many parents are refusing to register their kids in next year's Kindergarten class. The buzz is that because the Kindergarten teacher is sometimes disorganized and she concentrates on social skills and structure... well... that's just not acceptable. The other parents want the Kindergarten class to focus on academic achievement.

Academic achievement - in Kindergarten?!?

The Kindergarten teacher at our school is gentle, kind, compassionate and works hard to promote decent behaviour and respect in her classroom. She has an insanely difficult job - taking 15 little children with entirely different personalities and teaching them to adhere to the structure of a new environment without daily melt-downs. I couldn't do it, I can't imagine the strength of character required to manage a class filled with excited 5 year olds. I'm disorganized and I only have two children to keep track of.

Frankly, I would be more suspicious if she wasn't a little disorganized sometimes... it makes her more human and likable.

So the buzz is that most of the parents are enrolling their Kindergarten kids in private schools in the area rather than tolerate the public school's Kindergarten.

This seems to be indicative of the two schools of thought in this area; the competitive parents... and... well... the rest of us. The competitive parents seem to be the wealthy/lucky/healthy... the rest of us tend to be poorer, less fortunate... or dealing with some serious challenges like single parenting (widows and divorce) or serious health issues. The rest of us seem to have perspectives that have changed because of our less than ideal lives... we tend to not worry about as much as the the competitive parents.

I'm a little concerned about my DD and her classmates in the future when the two groups (social focus vs performance focus) mesh for grade one. I also feel a little guilty that I'm not pushing my little girl to perform. Will this have long-term negative results - will she never be able to achieve what others will have? Will she begin her scholastic career already left behind?

Then I look in her beautiful eyes and I think... she's still a baby. Let her learn to be a decent person - the world will rush her into deadlines and performance measures soon enough, she deserves at least another year of learning to be who she is.

And I'll let her be.

Star Wars day

A conversation between my Dad and my son.

Grampa, "Hey... did you know it's Star Wars day today?"

My son "Whaaat? Really?! It IS?!?"

Grampa "Really, it is."

My son "It's Star Wars day?!?"

Grampa, "Yeah, it's May the fourth... you know... May the fourth be with you."

My son "Oh GRAMPA!"

What's fair?

My daughter has entered the Drama Queen zone. She's developed a liking for feather boas, tiaras, sparkly shoes... and whining about the house rules. Every limit is met with screeches, fake tears and lately... loud, snotty, almost teenagerish sounding fits.

"But Moooooooommmm!" (insert requisite foot stomping) "That's not FAIR!"

"Yes it is... being fair isn't getting what you want, honey."

"Then what is it?"

"Fair is getting what Mommy wants."

I'm so going to pay for this later.

A question of marriage

My friend K was talking to her girls about marriage (she and her husband just had a convalidation on the weekend - that's having your vows renewed in the Catholic church). She asked her girls some questions about marriage, and I wondered what my kids would say;

The Kindergartner;

• he would marry somebody he likes, but he "doesn't know who... maybe he won't get married..."
• he would live: "In mommy's house"
• Something old: "mommy" (lovely)
• something new: "a new shirt"
• something borrowed: "a toy"
• something blue: "mommy's shirt"
• children: "TEN" (evil grin)
• pets: "I don't think so... actually, yes, yes I would... a bulldog and a snake... and then a goldfish..."
• "I don't know what will happen. Maybe I'll change my mind."

The two-year old;

• she will get married "Someday... to gramma!"
• she would live "In the morning"
• something old: "me old!"
• something new: "me new!"
• something borrowed: "my shirt!"
• something blue: "the sky blue"
• children: "Yeah I have BABIES!"
• pets: "Uh huh, my have a CAT!"

Life lessons

Every month we get a calendar from the Boy's teacher listing the regular school events (show-and-tell days, library days, gym days, etc). Usually two days later we get a little slip of paper with the corrections for the previously issued calendar. Every single month it's been the same - they never get the calendar right - and it's based on a regularly rotating schedule - it's easy to predict.

I was getting frustrated with this routine, and my Mother and I discussed it within earshot of the Boy.

Bad idea... evidently I need TLC's Life Lessons:

"Mommy, I told my teacher that if you were my teacher, you would certainly be able to make up a simple calendar every month... just like you and Gramma said."

Great.

Overheard at bedtime

"Hi God. I hope you're not really busy right now... you know, making a person or something. I'd like to say my bedtime prayers now..."

The story of Abraham

"Grampa, do you know the story of Abraham?"

"Yes. God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son.
He wanted to test Abraham to see if he loved God more than anything."

"And he took out a knife to kill his son!"

"But God sent an angel to stop him."

"So God said; 'Kill him' and then 'Just kidding'? Who would do that?!?"

(imported from my previous blog)